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Friday, March 29, 2013


Courtesy of Draz, I brought my own crazy.

1.What’s your first reaction when you get really angry?
I picture myself like a cartoon character, with steam coming out of my ears. But I’m probably just very loud and profane. I do not bottle up. Just today, I went off on a tirade about how CAPTCHA is the scourge of humanity. I spend so much time trying to convince Blogger that I’m not a robot, that I’m now convinced I may in fact be a robot. I may also be prone to hyperbole.

2. When is the last time you cried in sadness or in joy?
I am a crybaby. I cried during New Girl the other night, and the last time In Her Shoes was on TV, and if I just THINK about The Fault In Our Stars… It’s ridiculous.

3. If the stars aligned and everything was perfect from your partner to your job and income and everything – how many kids would you choose to have?
If everything were perfect, I’d have a second, because I am dying for a little girl. And in this perfect world scenario, I get to pick the gender, right? But in the imperfect world, I don’t think we can afford another, and I’m 35. Our son is going to be 6 in a few weeks, and I kind of feel like I missed my window. But I grew up an only child and was just fine. More peace and quiet for reading! And who knows? Maybe one day we’ll look into fostering. I always thought I’d be pretty awesome at that.

4. If you won the lottery – what is the first purchase you’d make?
Oh no! This is so hard! I want ALL OF THE THINGS! I’m already a compulsive spender, so I can’t imagine the damage I’d do if I got to spend on an epic scale. But the very first purchase would have to be an awesome dinner out, at the best restaurant in town, plotting how to spend our millions. With spreadsheets. Cause that’s how I roll.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
I was so busy in blogland, I forgot to do any work at the office! Oops. Oh well, better luck next week. Now I’m off to plan Easter dinner. My mom and Grandma are letting me host this year, and they never let me host. So, basically, they’re waiting for me to screw up. Wish me luck!

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs
Today's weight: 217.8

-2.2 lb loss

-43.2 lbs loss since surgery
-63.2 lb loss overall

After last week's .2 loss, my scale owed me. It's a good thing no one was there to see me do a happy dance in the bathroom this morning, because I am a terrible dancer.

I was a good lap banded girl this week. Brought my breakfast and lunch to work every day, and refrained from restocking my office candy bowl with Easter Rolos, which I would have eaten all week. I did have one Cadbury egg, which I entered into MyFitnessPal (150 calories, thank you very much) but otherwise held it together this week. I make no promises about Easter Sunday.

Was just reading Mon's post about portions, which reminded me that even though I am getting better at some of these lapbander rules, I still have a ways to go. I have my small plates and bowls, and my smaller forks, but since I'm not in the green zone yet, I am no 1/2 cup meal girl. Last night, at lap band support group, half of them talked about eating 1/2 cup at every meal, and it blows my mind. But I have definitely changed. Below is dinner from the other night.

Sorry if my carbs offend you. I count every calorie and gram
of protein that goes in my mouth. THERE WILL BE CARBS.
And I didn't even finish everything on my smaller plate. My husband got half of my potatoes. Five months ago, my plate would have been as full as his.

Do any of you eat 1/2 cup meals or is that some kind of lap band urban legend?

Thursday, March 28, 2013

A Very Silly Hallelujah

I finally figured out how to get the Google Friend Connect button to appear on my blog! It's like the clouds parted, and the sun shone down, and a chorus of angels started singing. You have no idea how much time I have wasted trying to figure that out. I read multiple forums, googled the hell out of it. Everything I found said that the Google Friend Connect widget was no longer available, and had been replaced by the Google+ one. I loathe Google+, so this was very disappointing. But today, I figured it out! So will you please friend me or follow me or whatever you want to do, just so it stops feeling like I'm blogging into a void? I'll be your very best friend.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013


So I don't talk about my goal weight a lot. And that's kind of because I don't have one. When I had to do the psych evaluation for my insurance requirement prior to surgery, the psychologist asked me what my goal weight was. And I admitted that of course I didn't have one. You can't fail if you don't have a goal. Am I right?

Well, at some point, the clinic chose a goal weight for me, because it appears on some of my paperwork. They selected 169 pounds, which isn't overly aggressive, but is also a foreign number that I'm not able to imagine myself at in any way. I have no idea how I feel about that number. The only thing that comes to mind when I think about 169 pounds is that the lap band statistics say the average weight loss with the band is 50% of your excess weight. Right now, I am about halfway between 281 and 169 pounds. If that isn't terrifying, I don't know what is.

Those are some of the reasons that I prefer to work with short term goals. Every ten pounds lost is a mini victory. Every time I reach a nice round number, like 50 pounds lost, 60 pounds lost, is a victory. My most immediate goal is to weigh less than my husband. I've never weighed less than him in the time we've been together. When we met in college, he was at his leanest and most fit, and I was carrying the freshmen 15 (plus whatever the sophomore aquires). Since then, we've both put on some weight, definitely more so in my case. But I'm thinking I'll catch up to him in the next 4-6 weeks. (Unless he loses a few pounds on a whim. MEN, UGH.)

The next goal after that, is to weigh less than 200. I was hoping to make it by June 8, which would be the anniversary of my lapband consultation, and when I first started losing weight. That would mean 80 pounds lost in the last year. Considering how my weight loss has slowed, I don't know if I'll make it by that date, but it's still my second mini goal.

After that, maybe my next goal will be to make it to 181 pounds, which would make 100 pounds lost. Even that number seems a bit far away right now. But losing 100 pounds would be pretty damn substantial, even if it's not my goal weight. Then? I guess I'll see how I feel. I'll have some new short term goals by then. One of them may be to make it to "goal weight" or not. Maybe 181 will feel more like me than 169 pounds would. But even if I never make it to 169 pounds, I will have achieved many small goals along the way. And I feel okay about that.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

5 Month Update

Starting weight (6/8/12): 281 lbs
Surgery day (10/26/2012): 261 lbs
Current weight: 220 lbs

-41 lbs since surgery
-61 lbs loss overall

I only lost 4 lbs in the last month. That's pretty frustrating considering I was previously losing around 8 lbs a month. I had hoped that I'd get to be like Lap Band Gal (don't we all?) and never get stuck but never get hungry. But so far, my band doesn't work like that. I haven't managed to stay under 1200 calories in a long time. And anything above that, the losing has been getting slower and slower. I'll need a fill if I want to lower my calorie intake, but really dread getting stuck more often.

And I'm sure my results have nothing to do with the fact that I'm still a Starbucks addict. I've managed to kick sodas and beer, but my beloved 200 calorie grande non-fat chai latte is holding on strong.

This post made possible by the lovely barristas
at my neighborhood Starbucks.

Monday, March 25, 2013


I skipped out of work early on Friday, and stayed offline most of the weekend. Do y'all mind if I do BYOC now? I never get around to doing memes and hate missing all the fun! It's Bring Your Own Crazy, right? Well my crazy is LATE.

1.  What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?  Is it still on today?
I loved He-Man and She-Ra! Don't make me choose between the two. I don't think they're still on TV, but they are streaming on Netflix, which made it possible for me to introduce them to my kiddo. He's watched some of the episodes (he likes the Christmas special best) but with SO many options for cartoons these days, dated ones like those can't hold his attention for long.

2.  Describe your favorite piece of clothing.

I've had to replace so many of my clothes, so I don't even know if I have a favorite right now. Usually it would be whatever my cutest sundress, or most flattering little black dress was. These days, it's whichever pair of jeans currently fits the best. That would probably be my Torrid skinny jeans. Although it's super annoying that I wear a size larger in Torrid jeans than in Old Navy non-plus jeans. Thanks for making a chubby girl feel awesome, Torrid.

3.  In the hopes of convincing summer to arrive, I'm asking this question: Name a summer tradition you currently have or a tradition you want to start for every summer.

Nearly every Summer, we host a few "porch nights". Which just means that we invite a few friends to come over at night (long after the sun goes down, in hopes that it won't be sweltering) to sit on our back porch and have some beers, and chips and salsa. Beers are out for me this year, but if I nix porch nights, my husband would be a super sad camper. A new tradition I'd like to start is Summer vacations! We usually go somewhere in the Summer for family obligations, like visiting the in-laws in New York, or a wedding in Maine. Those are nice and all, but I want to start going on trips to places where family members don't live. Like DISNEY WORLD. And you know, other places.

4.  For all of the newbie bloggers out there getting to know everyone - let's answer this one.  How long have you been blogging, what is your theme and how did you pick your name?  Why did you start blogging?  What kind of blogs are your favorite to read and follow?

I've actually been blogging for many years, but only been lapband blogging for three months.
My theme is Austin, basically. Trying to be healthier in one of the best cities for eating in the world. My blog template needs work, but that is not my strong suit. Plus, it would take away time from very important endeavors like shopping, nail painting, YA reading, or watching Pitch Perfect again.
I picked my name mostly because I wanted to be identifiable by location for any other banded Austin folks who might want to get together or bond over shared queso addictions.
I have no idea why I started this blog. Like I said, it's taking valuable time away from the above pursuits. But I enjoyed reading everyone else's so much, and I wanted to comment on theirs, but felt weird without my story being out there in return. That's weird, right?
These days, I mostly read lapband blogs. Though I'm also a big fan of Go Fug Yourself and Forever Young Adult. I'm super highbrow like that. Oh, and if there is a recap of the latest Vampire Diaries episode, I am all over it.

5.  Summarize your week in blogland and in real life for us.
 I complained about my scale being rude, due to no fault of my own for eating junk, of course. And read everyone's blogs and tried to be a good commenter. Shout-out to Mon for being a blogging fiend due to being stuck at home recovering from surgery. It helped keep me entertained at the office.

Real life: Pretty hectic week at work and at home. My life always feels crazier in the Spring. I'm sure my snow-bird in-laws being in town for three months has absolutely nothing to do with it. I did manage to make it out for happy hour on Friday night, which was a great time to enjoy the beautiful weather we've been having. Just in time for another cold front to come in and ruin it all. C'MON SPRING, LET'S DO THIS ALREADY.

Me and cider.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs
Today's weight: 220

-.2 lb loss

-41 lbs loss since surgery
-61 lb loss overall

.2 pounds. Like, for real. Well, thank goodness. Because that lack of a round number was really bothering me.

I need a fill.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Scale Rudeness

My scale is being contrary this week, and telling me that I'm up a pound, even though I haven't had more than 1300 calories a day all week. I know 1300 calories isn't super impressive, but it's made for some slow but steady weight loss for me. How could I gain weight eating 1300 calories or less? I used to consume 2000+ calories a day and remained steady for years at a time. If my band was tighter, I could probably manage with less calories, but I'm worried about getting stuck more often. Especially after my disastrous trip to the mountains.

So those offensive weigh-ins have just caused me to say "Well then screw you, scale. I'm having a brownie." This is all healthy behavior, right? Dreading tomorrow's official weigh-in.

Monday, March 18, 2013

The Ugly Side of Weight Loss

Along with the rest of me, my neck is getting slimmer. However, the resulting loose skin has given me a turkey wattle that makes me look a bit older than my 35 years. In short, my neck is a hag.

So today, instead of the wasabi almonds and blue nail polish buying that I like to indulge in on my lunch break, I bought neck firming cream. And this better work. Because crepey neck skin does not look good with my pigtails.

Muffin Tins (and Pinterest) Are Your Friend

I previously told you about my favorite (modified) Pinterest recipe for Baked Egg Cups. But I've tried a few other muffin tin recipes as well. The portion sizes are just right for bandsters, and yet can still be enjoyed by the rest of your family. Plus? They're adorable.

My husband loved the mini tacos. My favorites are the mini lasagnas and the meatloaf cupcakes. However, I don't use any tomato products in my meatloaf, because that would just be wrong. You know how most people hate meatloaf? It's because of the ketchup. Trust me.

Can't wait to try the pot pies and apple pies!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs
Today's weight: 220.2

-1.6 lb loss

-40.8 lbs loss since surgery
-60.8 lb loss overall (MyFitnessPal thoughtfully rounds up)

I've never done a weigh-in photo! Which is kind of strange, considering I love to show off a fresh pedicure. But, after seeing the camera phone, reflective scale, bad lighting combo, I probably won't be doing a lot of them.

I could have done better this week, but all that wine and slider foods really worked against me. I forgot to tell y'all about my NP's advice the other day. When I was complaining about turning to chips and cookies while the band was too tight for anything else, she suggested upping my water intake. "Because water will calm the sugar cravings." Which is... just adorable. MERE WATER IS NO MATCH FOR MY SWEET TOOTH. Ahem, sorry. My sweet tooth is shouty and rude.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

More Things They Don't Tell You in the Seminar

Good morning, class! Raise your hand if you knew cold weather and elevation could cause your band to tighten up. See me? Over here, not raising my hand.

So my husband and I took a road trip to the West Texas mountains for a few days. It was beautiful and fun, and a bit colder than it's been in Austin. And it would have been a great trip, if not for the fact that I could barely eat a single thing while we were there. I've had some stuck episodes since my last fill, mainly on a cold weekend. I'd heard about people having issues with cold but never experienced it myself before. If I had wine before the meal, I could eat some of it, but would still get stuck - usually on the protein. Hot tea would also help me be able to eat, but again, the results were temporary. Of course, I had no problems with the chips and queso appetizer, or the cookies in bed. But I spent most of the trip starving or stuck.

We've been home for two days and I've still been getting stuck, even though it's much warmer in Austin. Luckily, I already had an appointment scheduled at True Results yesterday. I explained my problems, and they had me do the barium swallow under the fluoroscope to check out the band. The verdict was that the placement is perfect and that I "have good restriction". That's really good news. It would totally suck to have something wrong with the band. But then what's my problem? The fluoroscope technicion, who's also banded (and leads the lapband support group I attend) confirmed that elevation can be a problem. She said she went on a trip to Albuquerque and basically didn't eat for a week. She shrugged and said "That's life with the band."

Hmm... So mountains are out. Your lapband wants beach vacations!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs
Today's weight: 221.8

-1.6 lb loss

-39.2 lbs loss since surgery
-59.2 lb loss overall

I was really hoping to hit that 60 lbs lost mark this week. But considering it's TOM week, it's amazing I didn't gain. I actually did pretty well, considering there are still Girl Scout cookies circulating, and chili cheese Fritos in the work vending machine.

It's like they're calling my name. How do they know my name?? Why does PMS make me want to eat absurd things?

Even though I didn't hit that 60 lb mark yet, I'm going to reward myself this next week with a couple of days off from My Fitness Pal. My husband and I are going on a little road trip, and staying in a hotel for a couple of days without the kiddo. And there will be wine. So I'm going to take a short break from recording every single morsel that goes in my mouth. But I'll be back at it again by Wednesday.

Hope you have an amazing Spring Break! (Or, you know, awesome week in mid-March!)

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Totally Worth It

Meet Cooper! He'll be 6 years-old next month, and he's a big part of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want to have energy to do fun things on the weekend, play in the back yard, take trips (without having to pay extra for flying fat), and go swimming all Summer. We're planning to go to Disney World some day soon, and Mama wants to be right next to him on every roller coaster.

Monday, March 4, 2013

In Praise of Wine and Amazon

For some reason, my band was really tight all weekend. I got stuck a lot. Had to drink a glass of wine before meals just to be able to eat. And let me tell you, that was quite a chore. Hopefully, it's just weather or hormone-related and will be back to normal before Spring Break. My husband and I are taking a road trip to West Texas for a couple of days, and I want to be able to eat like I'm on vacation!

Here's an updated shot of my hand, now that it's no longer naked. I'm in love with my new $35 temporary wedding set from Amazon.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs
Todays weight:  223.4 lbs
.6 lb loss

-37.6 lb loss since surgery
-57.6 lb loss overall

Trying not to be bummed about a .6 lb pound loss. Not every week can be awesome. My first two weigh-ins this morning said 222.4, but I always look for 3 in a row that say the same thing (oh, OCD, you're so ridiculous). That damned third weight was 223.4, and then it wouldn't budge after that. How I gained a pound standing in front of my scale for a few seconds, I will never know.

I think the last 5 lbs I've lost have all come from my hands. None of my rings fit anymore. I now wear a size 6 on my ring finger. My wedding rings were a size 6 1/2 when I got married 12 years ago, and I had them resized to a 7 after I had my son 6 years ago. I'm ordering a cheap silver and CZ set from Amazon to wear for now, so I don't feel naked. It seems silly to get my rings resized now, since there will hopefully be more weight lost. Though I doubt my fingers could get any smaller. This is a very bizarre non-scale victory.

Look at that sad empty hand. And look how huge my watch now looks by comparison.