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Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Things They Don't Tell You in the Seminar, Part 3
Y'all are the only ones who could appreciate this horror story. So I was out to lunch today at a BBQ place. Their lean turkey and a small serving of cole slaw hadn't been a problem before. But the turkey seemed on the dry side today, and the cole slaw was requiring a lot of chewing. Right when I decided I'd had enough, I got stuck. Of course. I was having a hard time on the short drive back to the office, bad chest pain. I never PB (at least I don't think so, I figure I'd notice) but I do slime. This time, it felt like I was going to PB. I was trying desperately to get back to the office and run to the bathroom to slime in semi-privacy. But, before I could even make it to my parking place, I coughed up a handfull of slime. Like everywhere. Oh, and did I mention my guy friend from work was in the car with me? Which was handy, when I needed someone to reach into the glove compartment to get me some kleenex. (As if mere kleenex would help? Why don't I have a towel when I need one?) Luckily, he knows about the lap band, but I don't think he was familiar with the graphic details. Well, he is now.
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Oh no...
ReplyDeleteSomething to look forward to, right?
Deleteoh no...I had that happen to me ONCE. I thought I could capture it in my hand....I had no idea the human body could produce so much slime....lol!
ReplyDeleteYES. What is that about??
DeleteROTFLOL at the graphic for this!! Thank you for a very clear description, truly. Never had one that clear before. :-D
ReplyDelete(And sorry for your unfortunate incident...but glad you retained your humor. :-D)
I'm super helpful like that. Pro-tip: keep boxes of kleenex in the car :-)
DeleteYou better kiss coleslaw goodbye. One of my worst episodes ever began with coleslaw...OY!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'll be attempting it again anytime soon.
DeleteBeen there, done that :) My first week at my current school I was on a field trip with my students. I totally puked/slimed into my purse in the van on the way back to the school. Thankfully, I was in the back seat with an autistic child who was nonverbal...she never said a word to anyone about it :)
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that on your blog! If only I'd made it into the purse instead of on the purse.
DeleteOy! I have always made it to the restroom (only happened a few times) but I have ALWAYS worried about this happening on a date... wouldn't that be awkward? :)
ReplyDeleteIt was horrifying. So glad I don't date anymore!
DeleteYa'll are scaring me! I am NOT looking forward to the first time this happens, LOL!
ReplyDeleteI hope your friend didn't get too weirded out :)
It's possible it can be avoided if you're the most careful eater in the history of banded people.
DeleteHe's probably scarred for life :-)
if it is on the dry side skip it! I learned that in a similar way!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, this made me cringe in sympathy. So far I have always made it to a bathroom--but I know there may come a day when I will not. I hope your friend isn't too traumatized--or you either!
ReplyDelete