Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 194.4

-  1.6 lb loss

-66.6 lbs loss since surgery

-86.6 lb loss overall

I am still super tight, so it's hard to even feel good about being on track with weight loss. I was able to eat a soupy chili for lunch yesterday, but couldn't finish my usual amount. Then, I had rice with dinner, which was a mistake, but I didn't get stuck. But also wasn't able to eat the usual amount. Then I had ice cream. Because what's better when you're tight than slider foods?

This morning, I was an idiot, and tried to take my morning pills again. I take three morning pills, all of which are tiny. I've taken morning pills since I was a teenager (when I was diagnosed hypothyroid) and this is such an ingrained habit that I didn't even think about it. I've been able to do this the entire eight months (oh hi, forgot to do an eight month update!) that I've been banded. So, I got horribly stuck again. ON A ZYRTEC tablet. And yet again, I'm terrified to eat breakfast, and even cold liquids are going down SLOWLY. I know that I have been pretty lucky while I've been banded, that I've always been able to take my morning pills, and I've always been able to eat breakfast. But to me, that's how the band is supposed to work. I'm supposed to be able to eat and drink everything I need to, and I'm just not supposed to get hungry as often.

I called the lap band clinic to see about the possibility of a slight unfill today, which I did not have high hopes for. They don't do fills on Fridays. They did let me speak with one of the nurses (not the overly aggressive fill one) and she said that if I were to come in today, they have no x-ray tech on duty, so they'd be flying blind and would basically treat it like a dilated esophagus and remove a lot (if not all) of the fluid. If I wait until Monday morning, they can get me in, take an x-ray, and do a barium swallow to make sure everything is okay. Then, if it is, they can just remove a small amount of fluid. Which is, of course, what I want. She advised me to stay on fluids all weekend. Which is NOT what I want. I'll probably comply for the morning, but try solids for lunch and dinner. Otherwise, I'm either going to eat nothing but ice cream, or gnaw my arm off. I'm freaking hungry.

Mostly, I'm just mad at myself. I need to trust my instincts more, especially when it comes to my body. I really felt like .1 was all that I needed to get back to the satiety that I had before. I let the NP talk me into .2, since she thought I could even handle .3. I'm glad that at least I compromised. If I'd had .3, I probably wouldn't be able to get any solids down. As it is, I'm sad that I've lost the ability to eat breakfast, which was a cornerstone of my daily protein plan. And since I'm borderline OCD and a control freak, I hate that I can't fix this myself.

TIGHT

I went in Tuesday afternoon for an adjustment. I must have drawn the short straw and got the NP who likes to give really aggressive fills. After we talked about my hunger and how I'd previously been in the green zone, she thought I needed a .3 fill. Her rationale was that most people who fall out of the green zone usually need a .2 fill to get them back in place. But since I haven't had any particular foods that I can't eat, she figured I could handle .3. But since the last time she gave me an aggressive fill, I got stuck so much that I had to go in and have some fluid removed, I chose .2.

I was doing fine until yesterday afternoon, when I forgot that the band doesn't like me to take pills after a nap. I nap so rarely, that it's an easy rule to forget. But the band made sure that I WOULD REMEMBER. So that was a really awful stuck episode. I was a little afraid to attempt dinner later that night. But I took it very slowly, and took tiny bites. I made it to the last bite before getting stuck. But hey, now I get to cross "slime into napkin at table in fancy restaurant" off my bucket list.

This morning, my band is still a bit on the tight side. I'm sure my stuck episodes from yesterday didn't help much. Swallowing my tiny pills and sips of water was uncomfortable this morning. Taking big gulps of Crystal Light at work was also a bad idea. So I've basically been too scared to attempt food today. Hopefully, I just need time to adjust to the tighter band and for any swelling to go down. I have a "date" weekend planned with my husband, and eating figures prominently into it, so it would be nice to, you know, get to do that.

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 196

-  .6 lb loss

-65 lbs loss since surgery

-85 lb loss overall

I'm so relieved to not record a gain that I'm absolutely thrilled with a .6 lb loss. This has been a rough week. First, the diuretic shenanigans had my weight way up most of the week. Then, I stupidly didn't get a fill on Monday. So now I get to pay my copay again and go back next week to insist on a fill. Because I'm just too damned hungry. I want to shove everything into the gaping hole in my face. Apparently, I was previously in the green zone, didn't know enough to appreciate it, but sure know when I'm NOT.

We're headed out of town to New Braunfels for the weekend to relax, swim in a hotel pool, and eat awesome Mexican food with friends. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Second Thoughts and Panic, the Usual

Since I didn't get a fill on Monday, I've now decided that it was an EPIC MISTAKE. I'm too hungry. Starving in the morning, hungry between meals, fantasizing about junk food. Sigh. It's going to be a very long month.

In related news, whoever made this needs to STOP WATCHING ME.

None of my impulses are good.

I had a wild impulse on Friday night to stop taking my blood pressure medicine and diuretic. I tried to get my primary care doctor to take me off of it at my last appointment, but I think she felt like "why mess with it if it's working?" But she's not the one who has to take two extra prescriptions a day. So, I decided to stop taking them and see how my blood pressure was at my lap band appointment this morning. The good news is, the blood pressure was perfectly normal. The bad news is that without the diuretic, I swell up like a Thanksgiving parade balloon. I'm up 4-5 pounds from Friday's weigh-in, and I did not eat 5lbs worth of crap all weekend.

The nurse practitioner said I probably shouldn't abruptly stop taking both medications. And yes, she probably has a point. She suggested that I stay on the diuretic for now, and start tapering off after a month. So, I'll try that, and see how my blood pressure looks when I go back for next month's appointment. And now that I'm back on the diuretic, I'll be taking about one million pee breaks.

I did not get a fill today. The NP didn't see the point. My weight is going down, yet I can eat whatever I want. It's sheer will-power alone that keeps me from eating entire loaves of French bread. She said if I still want a fill next month, I can have a little one.

Here's another picture from our trip to Disney World. My 12 year-old sister went with us. She weighs 83lbs. I have now lost the equivalent of one Abby.

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 196.6

- 1.6 lb loss

-64.4 lbs loss since surgery

-84.4 lb loss overall

Lowest weight in 15 years! The teachers at my son's daycare have all been making a big deal about how great I look, saying they don't even recognize me at first. I can get used to this.

I have no idea what is even happening with me, weight-wise. I feel like I could eat ALL THE THINGS, but I usually don't, and I'm still losing weight. But I'm not going to question it too much. I have a lapband appointment scheduled for Monday. I've been debating getting a tiny fill (like .1) since I only have 6.3cc in my band, and it would be nice to be less hungry sometimes. But then, I think I'm only hungry when I'm supposed to be, like when it's been at least 3-4 hours since my last meal. And obviously, I'm losing at my current level, so maybe I shouldn't jinx myself? Nobody can make a giant deal out of .1ccs like me.

Now that I've hit Onederland, it's on to the next mini-goal! Which is: 191 lbs. Way to set the bar low, right? The thing that is so special about 191 lbs is that it would put me in the "overweight" BMI category, instead of the "obese" one. And then, after that, it's only another 10 lbs to hit my 100 lb weight loss! Which, if you'll remember, involves PRESENTS.

Disney World

Thoughts on Disney World and Universal Studios: fun, humid, obscenely crowded, long lines, absurdly expensive.

We were delayed on our flight there, arriving 12 hours late and exhausted. It rained on and off, the entire time we were there, sometimes POURING on us. The weather did horrible things to my hair, that are now preserved in photos, and I may never forgive. I successfully ate from the surprisingly good Disney kids menu all week, which was very helpful. I wore my fitbit and logged insane miles, nearly every day we were there (Epcot day was NINE MILES). We missed lots of fun rides due to the long lines and waits being simply too much. Next time, we may save a few thousand dollars and just drive to San Antonio and take the kid to Six Flags. If we buy him enough souvenirs, he may not notice the difference.

And now, some photos!

Much more comfortable seatbelt than the last time I flew.

Me and the kiddo riding flying Dumbos.

At the Wizarding World of Harry Potter - with butterbeer!

How many calories are in a butterbeer? Who cares?! It was delightful!

Immediately after coming back, I headed off to ATX Television Festival all weekend, and did even more walking. Got to go to lots of fun panels and screenings, including Friday Night Lights, My So-Called Life, Vampire Diaries, and Veronica Mars (where I got to meet the beloved creator, Rob Thomas). Super fun times for a TV geek like me.

What have you guys been up to?

P.S. Oh, and in case you missed it, I hit ONEDERLAND last week!

Wonder

As in, I wonder how the hell this happened.