Quick Update

Just a quick update, since I'm about the head out for lunch, shopping, and movie with a friend. Have y'all seen Austenland? It's adorable. In fact, it's so cute, I'm going to see it again. If you're a Pride and Prejudice fan, it's kind of a must.

My weight is still hovering around 186.2. I finally decided to switch to biweekly weigh-ins since the weight loss is slower and/or more sporadic the closer I get to goal. These 5lbs to my next mini goal are taking FOREVER. But I'm trying not to stress about it, because then I just get stuck or say "screw it, I'm having chips". Things around here are busy enough without that nonsense. Even if the scale isn't moving, my clothes are bigger all the time. It's probably time to buy new bras and underwear - again. And people who haven't seen me in even just a few weeks, exclaim about how much smaller I look. So maybe things are just shifting around, even if the number isn't technically dropping? But man, would I like to be down 100lbs by the end of the month.

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary. We're meeting for lunch at Maggiano's Little Italy. Yes, Italian, that's what this diet needs. Oh well, it's not like I can eat all that much anyway.

Trying to catch up on all your blogs, and hoping you're all doing well. Even if I'm not blogging, or behind on your posts, I still think about you guys and hope you're happy and successful.

Thursday Weigh-In and My Least Favorite Photo

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Thursday's weight: 186.2

-  1 lb loss

-74.8 lb loss since surgery
-94.8 lb loss overall

I do weigh in Thursday mornings, but I'm finding I'm too busy on Thursdays to actually post it. Good thing I'm the only one who cares about that.

This photo has been tormenting me on facebook for a year. My best friend posted it and even tagged me in it, because it's a picture of her oldest friend holding her new baby daughter. So I get it, but man, do those rolls kill me.

 

Last weekend, we celebrated her daughter's first birthday and I celebrate having fewer rolls to hate.

 

This is me yesterday, newly brunette and feeling sassy about it.

 

Thursday/Friday Weigh-In and a Recipe

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight (er, Thursday's weight): 187.2

-  2.8 lb loss

-73.8 lbs loss since surgery
-93.8 lb loss overall

I have a confession to make. I've been weighing in on Thursdays. I've been recording my Thursday weight, but posting it on Fridays. Basically, I've been doing an experiment to see if I'm right, that Thursday is always my lowest weight of the week. I've been a walking fiend this week, and yesterday I only ate about 1000 calories, and this morning's weigh-in was STILL higher than yesterday morning's (by .4 lbs but STILL). I don't get it. But suffice it to say, I've switched to Thursday weigh-ins. Apparently, Friday is not my friend, even before I indulge in pizza and wine.

But hey! 2.8 lbs? Obviously, there's something to be said for a wine and queso detox.

This week, I went to a lap band appointment (no fill needed, per the NP), a dentist appointment, took care of two sickies (husband and kiddo on the same day!), had an Ikea shopping and lunch date with my mom, cleaned house, re-organized my son's room (which included  not one, but two trips to The Container Store), and did tons of shopping and errands. And people worried I would be bored after quitting my job? Um, I don't have time for Netflix, much less to be bored.

This week, I tried this chicken salad recipe I found on Pinterest. I made less than it called for (I only had two cups of chicken) but I'll be cutting it in half next time. It simply makes too much for a banded person (especially at the 1/2 cup servings I was eating). But it was YUM and super high in protein!

Skinny Chicken Salad

Yield: 6 servingsServing Size: 1 (3 oz)

Ingredients

• 3 cups shredded cooked chicken
• 1 cup celery, chopped
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans
• 1 cup chopped grapes
• 1/4 cup finely chopped green onion
• 3/4 cup reduced-fat miracle whip (I subbed Kraft Mayo with Olive Oil)
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp black pepper
• 1/2 tsp onion powder

Instructions

1. In a large bowl, mix chicken, celery, chopped grapes, and green onion.
2. In a small bowl, mix together miracle whip, salt, black pepper, and onion powder.
3. Cover chicken mixture with dressing and stir until well mixed.
4. Cover and chill chicken salad until ready to serve.

 

Now, I'm off to read about what you've all have been up to this week!

Friday Weigh-In and Thank God School Starts Tomorrow

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight (er, Friday's weight): 190.0

-  .6 lb loss

-71 lbs loss since surgery
-91 lb loss overall

Hi! I'm alive! It has been a really busy month. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that school starts tomorrow and we can establish a better routine around here. My weigh-ins have sucked. I've been overdoing it with the liquid calories, especially the wine. And there have been far too many festive weekends with booze and chips and queso. Then I'm up a pound and spend the rest of the week losing it, so it can start all over again. It's time for a chips and queso detox!

I did attend my local lap band support group meeting last week, and was reminded again that the last 20 lbs tend to be the hardest. I'm just now 21 lbs shy of my goal weight. So that might explain a little bit about why I feel so plateaued. I definitely bear the responsibility, of course. I haven't been staying on track or making the best choices. I think part of it also has to do with having spent the last 14 months restricting myself the vast majority of the time, and weighing in, and weighing food, and counting calories, and drink drink drinking the water, etc. It kind of chafes after a while and I've been feeling rebellious.

But it's time to get back on track, making good choices during the week so that small amounts of fun (smaller than I've been having) are possible on the weekend without sending me careening off the tracks. I've got a mini goal in sight and 9 lbs left to get to it! Hoping school starting up means I'll have more time for blogging and catching up with everyone. I've missed you guys!

Mid-Week Update

Thanks for all the support on hitting my mini goal! I told my husand "Nobody has ever received so much positive reinforcement for being overweight." We had a great grown-up weekend (as you can see below) with far, far too much wine and yummy Mexican food. Still paying for it. Ugh.

Me and the Mister.

I have not yet figured out a good routine while I'm home with my kiddo now. I hope it won't have to wait until he goes back to school for me to figure out this stay-at-home mom thing. But I've been home for almost a week and haven't yet managed to clean anything besides clothes and dishes.

Hope your week is less discombobulated!

Friday Weigh-In and Mini Goal Achieved

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 190.6

- 1.4 lb loss

-70.4 lbs loss since surgery
-90.4 lb loss overall

I've surpassed my mini goal of 191 lbs. The reason that weight was significant is because at 5'7, I am now in the 'overweight' BMI category. A year ago, I was 'morbidly obese'. That's pretty damned exciting. Now on to the next mini goal: 181 lbs for a 100 lb total loss!

Eleven years ago, when I dropped out of college for the second time, I needed a job pretty quick. A friend of mine said his company was hiring, and the starting salary was pretty good. I figured I'd take it until a I found something better. Then I spent the next 11 years aggregating and analyzing automotive data. It's just as thrilling as it sounds. Wednesday was my last day there. I think I'm going to like being a stay-at-home mom a little more. Let's just hope the money holds out, so I can do it for a while!

This weekend is my husband's birthday. The kiddo is going to stay with the grandparents, and we're staying at a cool hotel on South Congress (a fun shopping, dining, entertainment area in Austin) and getting some grown-up time. I won't even know what to do with two whole days of no one talking to me about Legos.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Saturday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 192

- 1.6 lb loss

-69 lbs loss since surgery
-89 lb loss overall

So for the last several weeks, I'll be weighing less all week (I weigh daily) but when it comes Friday morning (the only weight I record) I'll be up, sometimes by a couple of pounds. It's not even usually due to going out and drinking the night before (although this week it was - oops). So I've been toying with the idea of doing my official weigh-ins biweekly, just to alleviate some of the stress of thinking I've gained multiple pounds overnight (probably not an actual thing that happens) when I'm actually just retaining water.

Only one more pound to my next mini-goal!

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 193.6

-  .6 lb loss

-67.4 lbs loss since surgery
-87.4 lb loss overall

I weighed in Friday morning, but didn't have time to post it, since we were headed to the beach for the weekend! These incremental losses are seriously frustrating. But I guess I should just be glad the trend is downward, instead of up.

How have you lost so much weight?

I get asked that question a lot. With close friends, I'm able to answer it easy enough. But since I chose not to disclose my lap band surgery at work, it's a little harder. I work in an exceptionally gossipy office. I fly under the radar whenever possible, and don't have a ton of close friends here anymore (my two closest ones quit years ago). I choose to keep most aspects of my life private, and this one wasn't any different. I absolutely didn't want to be gossiped about, scrutinized, or speculated about in any way. This was an extremely personal decision I made, and I have no interest in discussing it with people I consider merely aquaintances.

So when I get asked "How have you lost so much weight?", I have fairly vague stock answers. "I've made a lot of changes in the last year. I eat a lot less than I used to, I track everything I eat. And I try to be more active." All of those are true, but putting it that way still makes me feel dishonest.

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 194.2

-  .2 lb loss

-66.8 lbs loss since surgery
-86.8 lb loss overall

Like, seriously? .2 lbs? UGH. I've been seeing 193 on the scale ALL WEEK, until this morning. Maybe I had too much salt yesterday? I've been giving into my Pringles cravings far too much lately. They're only 150 calories per serving, but that salt cannot be doing me any favors. Once they're gone, I'm not buying any more, dammit.

So, let's talk about something less lame than my weight? I turned in my resignation this week. July 31st will be my last day. I'm going to stay home with my kiddo, and enjoy what's left of Summer break. I've got a lot of organizing I want to do, and some recipes I want to try. I'll get to walk him to and from school in the Fall, and get more steps in! Maybe eventually I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up, and then I'll go back to work. But for now, I'm really looking forward to being a stay-at-home mom (though I prefer the less accurate, but more decadent sounding, "lady of leisure").

Illustrated

Well, I figured y'all hadn't seen me in about 20 lbs. I had to switch to leggings because all my yoga pants are too baggy. It made me feel a little dishonest, since the leggings (even though they too are a size too big) compress my tummy flab just a little. Y'all should see me run or swim. I jiggle like jello. Loose skin is just adorable, isn't it?

Pre-Op: 10/25/12     261 lbs



1/24/13     231 lbs



4/8/2013     215 lbs

7/8/2013      194 lbs

My Lap-Band disaster

"My Lap-Band disaster" is the headline of this Salon article. Go and read it, then come back and let's discuss.

This woman, who weighed 175 lbs, couldn't find a surgeon in the U.S. that was unethical enough to give her a lap band, so she went to another country to find one. She says that she read everything she could about the lap band, but if she had, she would have found out how crucial aftercare is. She'd know that flying to London a couple of times a year for a fill is not the extent of it. She'd know that the people who are the most unhappy or least successful with their lap band, tend to not have access to good aftercare (for example, this poor girl who got hers in Mexico) or go into the surgery ill-informed and with unrealistic expectations.

"Every time I tried to eat broccoli or carrots or anything healthy I used to enjoy, it would get caught in my throat and hurt so badly that I would race to the bathroom to puke." Nowhere in the article, does she talk about learning to chew, chew, chew, and eating slowly, all the lifetime behaviors we have to modify. Which, as you and I know, goes hand in hand with band. Obviously, her band was already primed when it was inserted. Due to her difficulties eating, she resorts to slider foods. We've all been there. But then, she goes to have FLUID ADDED.

Basically, I'm all stabby now that this woman - who did not meet the criteria for this surgery - got it anyway, and now gets to speak about it in a public forum. My husband urged me to comment on the article, but I avoid internet article comments like the plague. Comments are where hope goes to die. But I'm not above verbally abusing Salon on twitter, for that inflammatory headline, and for showcasing this author.

Weigh-In Friday

Today's weight is 194.4, same as last week. So this is what happens when weigh-in day falls immediately after a holiday. Hmph. Stupid milkshake. 

I hope you all had an excellent July 4th! I'm off today to hang out with this guy and see Despicable Me 2 (in 3D)!

 

Unfill

Had .2 cc taken out of my band this morning. Was able to swallow pills! And eat lunch without the aid of a glass of wine! I feel so much better.

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 194.4

-  1.6 lb loss

-66.6 lbs loss since surgery

-86.6 lb loss overall

I am still super tight, so it's hard to even feel good about being on track with weight loss. I was able to eat a soupy chili for lunch yesterday, but couldn't finish my usual amount. Then, I had rice with dinner, which was a mistake, but I didn't get stuck. But also wasn't able to eat the usual amount. Then I had ice cream. Because what's better when you're tight than slider foods?

This morning, I was an idiot, and tried to take my morning pills again. I take three morning pills, all of which are tiny. I've taken morning pills since I was a teenager (when I was diagnosed hypothyroid) and this is such an ingrained habit that I didn't even think about it. I've been able to do this the entire eight months (oh hi, forgot to do an eight month update!) that I've been banded. So, I got horribly stuck again. ON A ZYRTEC tablet. And yet again, I'm terrified to eat breakfast, and even cold liquids are going down SLOWLY. I know that I have been pretty lucky while I've been banded, that I've always been able to take my morning pills, and I've always been able to eat breakfast. But to me, that's how the band is supposed to work. I'm supposed to be able to eat and drink everything I need to, and I'm just not supposed to get hungry as often.

I called the lap band clinic to see about the possibility of a slight unfill today, which I did not have high hopes for. They don't do fills on Fridays. They did let me speak with one of the nurses (not the overly aggressive fill one) and she said that if I were to come in today, they have no x-ray tech on duty, so they'd be flying blind and would basically treat it like a dilated esophagus and remove a lot (if not all) of the fluid. If I wait until Monday morning, they can get me in, take an x-ray, and do a barium swallow to make sure everything is okay. Then, if it is, they can just remove a small amount of fluid. Which is, of course, what I want. She advised me to stay on fluids all weekend. Which is NOT what I want. I'll probably comply for the morning, but try solids for lunch and dinner. Otherwise, I'm either going to eat nothing but ice cream, or gnaw my arm off. I'm freaking hungry.

Mostly, I'm just mad at myself. I need to trust my instincts more, especially when it comes to my body. I really felt like .1 was all that I needed to get back to the satiety that I had before. I let the NP talk me into .2, since she thought I could even handle .3. I'm glad that at least I compromised. If I'd had .3, I probably wouldn't be able to get any solids down. As it is, I'm sad that I've lost the ability to eat breakfast, which was a cornerstone of my daily protein plan. And since I'm borderline OCD and a control freak, I hate that I can't fix this myself.

TIGHT

I went in Tuesday afternoon for an adjustment. I must have drawn the short straw and got the NP who likes to give really aggressive fills. After we talked about my hunger and how I'd previously been in the green zone, she thought I needed a .3 fill. Her rationale was that most people who fall out of the green zone usually need a .2 fill to get them back in place. But since I haven't had any particular foods that I can't eat, she figured I could handle .3. But since the last time she gave me an aggressive fill, I got stuck so much that I had to go in and have some fluid removed, I chose .2.

I was doing fine until yesterday afternoon, when I forgot that the band doesn't like me to take pills after a nap. I nap so rarely, that it's an easy rule to forget. But the band made sure that I WOULD REMEMBER. So that was a really awful stuck episode. I was a little afraid to attempt dinner later that night. But I took it very slowly, and took tiny bites. I made it to the last bite before getting stuck. But hey, now I get to cross "slime into napkin at table in fancy restaurant" off my bucket list.

This morning, my band is still a bit on the tight side. I'm sure my stuck episodes from yesterday didn't help much. Swallowing my tiny pills and sips of water was uncomfortable this morning. Taking big gulps of Crystal Light at work was also a bad idea. So I've basically been too scared to attempt food today. Hopefully, I just need time to adjust to the tighter band and for any swelling to go down. I have a "date" weekend planned with my husband, and eating figures prominently into it, so it would be nice to, you know, get to do that.

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 196

-  .6 lb loss

-65 lbs loss since surgery

-85 lb loss overall

I'm so relieved to not record a gain that I'm absolutely thrilled with a .6 lb loss. This has been a rough week. First, the diuretic shenanigans had my weight way up most of the week. Then, I stupidly didn't get a fill on Monday. So now I get to pay my copay again and go back next week to insist on a fill. Because I'm just too damned hungry. I want to shove everything into the gaping hole in my face. Apparently, I was previously in the green zone, didn't know enough to appreciate it, but sure know when I'm NOT.

We're headed out of town to New Braunfels for the weekend to relax, swim in a hotel pool, and eat awesome Mexican food with friends. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Second Thoughts and Panic, the Usual

Since I didn't get a fill on Monday, I've now decided that it was an EPIC MISTAKE. I'm too hungry. Starving in the morning, hungry between meals, fantasizing about junk food. Sigh. It's going to be a very long month.

In related news, whoever made this needs to STOP WATCHING ME.

None of my impulses are good.

I had a wild impulse on Friday night to stop taking my blood pressure medicine and diuretic. I tried to get my primary care doctor to take me off of it at my last appointment, but I think she felt like "why mess with it if it's working?" But she's not the one who has to take two extra prescriptions a day. So, I decided to stop taking them and see how my blood pressure was at my lap band appointment this morning. The good news is, the blood pressure was perfectly normal. The bad news is that without the diuretic, I swell up like a Thanksgiving parade balloon. I'm up 4-5 pounds from Friday's weigh-in, and I did not eat 5lbs worth of crap all weekend.

The nurse practitioner said I probably shouldn't abruptly stop taking both medications. And yes, she probably has a point. She suggested that I stay on the diuretic for now, and start tapering off after a month. So, I'll try that, and see how my blood pressure looks when I go back for next month's appointment. And now that I'm back on the diuretic, I'll be taking about one million pee breaks.

I did not get a fill today. The NP didn't see the point. My weight is going down, yet I can eat whatever I want. It's sheer will-power alone that keeps me from eating entire loaves of French bread. She said if I still want a fill next month, I can have a little one.

Here's another picture from our trip to Disney World. My 12 year-old sister went with us. She weighs 83lbs. I have now lost the equivalent of one Abby.

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight: 281 lbs
Surgery day: 261 lbs

Today's weight: 196.6

- 1.6 lb loss

-64.4 lbs loss since surgery

-84.4 lb loss overall

Lowest weight in 15 years! The teachers at my son's daycare have all been making a big deal about how great I look, saying they don't even recognize me at first. I can get used to this.

I have no idea what is even happening with me, weight-wise. I feel like I could eat ALL THE THINGS, but I usually don't, and I'm still losing weight. But I'm not going to question it too much. I have a lapband appointment scheduled for Monday. I've been debating getting a tiny fill (like .1) since I only have 6.3cc in my band, and it would be nice to be less hungry sometimes. But then, I think I'm only hungry when I'm supposed to be, like when it's been at least 3-4 hours since my last meal. And obviously, I'm losing at my current level, so maybe I shouldn't jinx myself? Nobody can make a giant deal out of .1ccs like me.

Now that I've hit Onederland, it's on to the next mini-goal! Which is: 191 lbs. Way to set the bar low, right? The thing that is so special about 191 lbs is that it would put me in the "overweight" BMI category, instead of the "obese" one. And then, after that, it's only another 10 lbs to hit my 100 lb weight loss! Which, if you'll remember, involves PRESENTS.